


Nightmares

by foggynelson



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:29:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iris can't stop dreaming of Barry's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

Iris’ hands won't stop shaking. It takes her a few moments before she realizes it’s not just her hands shaking, but her whole body. Her breathing is rapid and then slow, uncontrollable - and she tries, she tries to regulate it. It’s something she used to do with Barry when he had panic attacks as a kid. But it doesn’t work now.

Iris closes her eyes and sees flashes of her dream. _She’s looking down at Barry, lying there, his body cold, still. She reaches out to feel his heart - she’s expecting it to be fast underneath her touch. But there is nothing. She calls his name, over and over again. “Barry. Barry. Barry.” But he doesn’t respond. She shakes him. She leans down and holds him tight, close, but there is still nothing. And Iris is crying. And she can’t stop. Can’t stop._

When Iris opens her eyes, she finds herself actually crying, her hands still shaking. She tries to think rationally. It was just a dream. Barry is not dead. Barry has superpowers and is off saving the world. He is not dead. Barry has told her at least five times that he is going to live forever.

But it doesn’t help. It should. Because, well, this isn’t the first time Iris has had this dream. It was the same one she had at least once a week when Barry was in a coma. She should be used to having dreams about his death. It shouldn’t bother her at this point. But for some reason tonight… tonight, Iris can’t breathe. Iris literally cannot deal with the idea of Barry dead. 

And Iris knows why. Of course it’s understandable that today she feels so shaken up. What Barry told her when they were out today… Iris closes her eyes and tries her best to regulate her breathing, mentally telling herself in and out. In. Out. Breathe. Deep. Slow. You can do this, Iris. You can do this.

Once Iris manages to get her breathing a little more controlled - sometimes it still feels like the air gets stuck in her throat - she rolls over to the other side of her bed. With fumbling hands, she reaches out and grabs her phone. She’s grateful that it only takes about three clicks to call Barry - he’s her most recent call. She just hopes he answers. Iris wouldn’t be surprised if he was inside a burning building or running across water. (Honestly, she wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to find a way to fly by now and was currently up in the sky.)

The phone rings and Iris’ breathing is rapid again. And then there’s “Iris? Iris? Is everything all right?” And Iris is crying again. Just the sound of his voice fills her with so much joy. It’s stupid, of course. Because Iris knew he was alive. There was no way he could have been dead. But actually hearing him, actually knowing he really is alive… Iris is at a loss.

She can’t speak, so Barry says her name over and over again. “Where are you? Are you in danger? Just say something, Iris.” Iris tries, but nothing comes out. Barry keeps talking to her; his voice is so soothing. She never really noticed this before, but he sounds so sweet, so loving, caring. Everything that is Barry comes through as he speaks. 

Iris isn’t sure how much time has past - probably little considering it is Barry - but soon Barry is at her side, his arms around her. He’s talking, but Iris doesn’t hear anything outside of the sound of his voice. She feels his touch and feels safe in his arms. 

After a few moments, Barry shifts Iris so she is looking at him and asks, “What’s wrong?” Iris is sure Barry’s asked her the question at least ten times now, but this is the first time she’s heard him. She opens her mouth to speak but before she can, Barry says, “Nightmare?” and Iris nods in response.

Barry pulls her close and just holds her for awhile. Being this close to Barry, she can feel his heart racing, fast, pounding against her own skin. It all still amazes her so much, this other half of her best friend. It makes sense, though. If anyone deserves super powers, it’s Barry.

“Was the same dream?” Barry asks and Iris nods.

“You died again,” she whispers, her voice small. “It was back after the lightning and you were at the hospital and you died and I couldn’t save you… I don’t think you realize how scary it was. I was constantly worried I was going to lose you. And now…” Iris trails off, her voice faltering.

“I understand. I understand.” Barry repeats his over and over again, voice light, as he holds Iris tight. “But I’m here. And I’m not going to die. I’m not going to leave you, Iris. I could never.”

Iris nods into his chest. She doesn’t believe him. No one can promise this, not even Barry Allen, fastest man alive. Everyone has to die sometime and Barry is constantly running into burning buildings and fighting people with guns. Running fast doesn’t make one invincible.

But these are things Iris keeps to herself. She fills her mind with all things Barry instead, the feel of him pressed against her, his smell, his voice as he whispers her name. She pulls out of his grasp and looks up at him. “Did you really mean what you said earlier?” 

Barry laughs. “You must be sleep deprived to think I would have lied to you about that. You’ve been my favourite person since we were kids. Is it that much of a stretch to think I’m in love with you?”

Now Iris laughs. “I believe your exact words were ‘Iris, I am so in love with you please bear my children and kiss me for five years.’”

“I don’t think that’s exactly what I said…” 

Iris smiles. “It definitely was. I was really confused. I was pretty sure you were joking for a while but you didn’t start laughing. So then I started thinking, wait is he serious? Is this really how Barry wants to confess his love to me?”

“It sure didn’t help when you started laughing,” Barry points out. “I was so nervous. I tell you I love you and you start laughing.”

“You said you wanted me to have your children and kiss you for five years! Even with you being serious, it didn’t make what you said any less funny.”

“Fine, Iris. Fine,” Barry replies laughing. “It was pretty embarrassing,” he adds a moment later.

“Plus,” Iris interjects, “I did eventually come up and tell you I love you too. And I did kiss you. Not for five years because, Mr. Superhero; that would have been impossible.”

“You’re right. So maybe what we need is a lot of little kisses that add up to five years.”

“Only five years? What happens if we reach the five year mark? No more kisses? Do you think you can handle that?”

Barry pulls her in close and leans down so when he speaks, he speaks right against her lips. “I think I meant fifty years.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, rea--” But Barry is cut off as Iris kisses him. And kissing Barry is such a different experience. Everything about it is different. For one, he’s much better at it than Iris would have guessed he would be (not that she used to think about what it would be like to kiss him; of course not). Kissing him is soft and warm and Iris feels safe. All of which is amazing. Most of all, though, there’s this thing that Barry does where he vibrates his face slightly… Iris smiles as they kiss. 

When they part, Barry offers to stay the night and hold her as she falls back asleep. Iris nods. His presence will definitely help her sleep and it’s something she desperately needs. They cuddle together, Iris pressing her face against his chest. She loves feeling his heart beat. The rhythm is soothing and slowly Iris starts to fall back asleep.

Until… “Wait, I never gave you a key to my apartment. How did you get in?”

“Oh,” Barry replies in a small voice. “About that… You probably are gonna need to get a new bathroom window.”

“Barry!”

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a gift for [Lexi](http://wwests.tumblr.com/) in December of last year.


End file.
